Here’s a sad social media truth: building confidence in yourself isn’t easy as a female entrepreneur that uses social media regularly.
In fact I’ve personally found it’s quite the opposite.
And with so many factors working against us it becomes easy to see why having confidence in ourselves, in our skills, talents and voice and allowing those things to help us stand out in a crowded marketplace is so damn hard.
So what does social media have to do with that?
Well, have you ever been on Facebook and felt overwhelm from all the noise? Perhaps you’ve felt like the platform creates sheer chaos disrupting your peace of mind and focus – I know I have.
Or maybe you’ve experienced the self doubt, the not enough-ness and the insecurities that being on a platform like Instagram can bring.
All of these things can lead us into brick walls of procrastination, self doubt, of holding ourselves back our of fear of sounding stupid or not being good enough.
And after a while – before we know it – we’re conditioning ourselves repeatedly with the same platforms, the same emotions, the same thoughts making us feel that we really aren’t good enough, that our work isn’t good enough, that our opinion isn’t worth it, wanted or won’t be heard.
And this keeps our lives static. It keeps our art and our businesses static too. And if there’s one thing about life it’s that the name of the game is growth right?
But when we use social media so often to promote our creative business or share our work it can create insecurities.
It’s not our fault – the problem is that it’s not consensual either.
I doubt very much that on downloading any social media platform there’s a term that we all agreed to that clearly states:
WARNING: using this app can seriously damage your relationship with yourself, your emotional, mental and physical health and result in a lesser life quality.
But perhaps they should because in all seriousness – the results of using these platform can be that harsh.
And the second of my social media truths…
Facebook executives have openly stated that using their platform can pose risks to the users emotional health.
And of course our emotional, mental and physical health are all intrinsically linked.
So is the health of our business too.
And with that the connections we can make, the audiences we can built the income that we can create and the quality of life we can live.
All of it is founded in who we are, how we’re doing, what our energy is like and how confidently we feel we’re able to fully express ourselves to other people which is all affected by social media.
Now don’t get me wrong – social media has a huge amount of incredible and beneficial uses.
I can keep in contact with family all over the world and feel included in their lives, we can market our creative businesses more easily with the use of it, sharing content and media to help other people and there is SO MUCH information out there that can be so incredibly useful.
It’s an amazing resource.
But that’s just it – it is a resource – however to so many it’s also a habit.
Which leads me to social media truths no.3
Our habits shape the way we live.
I’ll let that sink in.
Our habits shape the way we live.
The average user touches their phone 2,617 times a day. For the heavy user it’s been estimated to be somewhere in the region of 5,400.
I’ll let you have a moment for that to sink in too.
Case in point – I used to pick up my phone every 7 minutes (yes I did time it – there are apps that help you crack this!) and why? It was habit.
Literally – just habit.
I didn’t have notifications on, I didn’t have messages come in, I simply used to just pick it up and open an app (usually Facebook or Instagram).
That was the full extent of my attention span. Sucks doesn’t it? And yes it was partly what spurred me on to drop social media use all together for a year (more on that another time!)
I know you’ve probably seen that couple, out for a drink or to dinner together and one of them is consistently picking up their phone, answering messages, calls, taking photos, sending texts. You’ve seen it right?
And how does it make you feel? Sorry for the other person right? The poor bloke is sat there getting bored, not feeling seen, not feeling heard, not feeling as though the person they’re out with is present to them.
Result? Arguments in the car on the way home, an unreturned call for a second date, a bad report to the girls about how interesting this guy was and bingo bango before you know it that relationship is going downhill.
But picking up our phones is a habit. It’s something we have every opportunity to change or create each time we go to pick up our phones.
So let’s get down to it – what can we do to combat these social media truths?
Here are my top 3.
It doesn’t have to be scary – it doesn’t have to mean getting off of social media all together (although that’s a challenge that will prove to you whether you’re addicted or not!) what it can mean is simply cleaning up your account.
In other words, unfollow people who don’t make you feel good, empowered, inspired.
Unfollow people you are following out of obligation (you are not obliged to follow them, just as you are not obliged to post!)
Monitor your use of social media use a lovely app like Forest or Moment to help you manage it and get back to feeling better about who you are, what you’re doing and enjoying your life more.
2. Pin point how you’re feeling
Identifying what you’re feeling means bringing awareness to yourself, to what it is that’s uncomfortable, to what it is that you need in order to nourish yourself and feel great as well as having more energy for your family, life and business.
If you can identify how you’re feeling and what it is that’s creating that discomfort for you, you can consciously make a choice to create change.
Again though, it doesn’t have to be complicated, the smallest tweaks create the biggest ripples.
3. Reconnect with yourself creatively
Meditate, journal, get out for a walk to clear your mind, get some quiet time in before your sleep in the evening, don’t pick up your phone first thing in the morning.
Again all small habits, all have huge repercussions for our mental and emotional health.
If you want to take it a step further get creative – tap into yourself, your sovereignty, use your own energy to do something different – the truth is that we’re abundant with our own resources, we can become our own source of inspiration, of self confidence, of abundance – if we just clear all the crap out of the way first.
If you’d like to move this forward and connect deeply with yourself visit my resources page where you can download two exercises that will help you bring more of you into your life, your work and your art building self confidence, self esteem and creativity as well as the ability to connect more clearly with others.
If you want to go full whammy click here to read about finding your creative voice and using it in your home, art, business and brand to amplify your life and elevate your income.