Want to know how to stop sabotaging your goals and desires?
It’s that time again where we set our goals, our desires and align our intentions to work towards them.
But statistics show that so many of us fall off the wagon within weeks of our goal setting for the year.
So what happens?
It may be interesting for you to know that your habits around sabotage are closely intertwined with pressure.
So how the heck do we stop sabotaging when its pressure that motivates us to get things done and move towards it?
The answer is in the question: release the pressure.
On a chemical level your body experiences stress repeatedly day in and out through using technology or working online.
But there is only so much of that your body can take before it can no longer cope and you feel exhausted because your natural energy and chemical levels are so depleted and bingo you’re finding any reason to get out of stress, into pleasure and find yourself sabotaging your goals.
Which is what I felt when in August 2018 I found out that four of my family members had severe health issues whilst hustling hard in my business (despite my efforts not to admit that I was!).
So I spent the latter half of 2018 releasing that pressure from myself.
And what I discovered was that dreams do not like pressure.
And for that matter neither do I as I quickly realised when I not only stopped sabotaging and distracting myself from my work but started enjoying it a heck of a lot more.
Detoxing from social media, letting go of the goals, hopes and wishes I had set for myself, releasing the self sabotage, the judgement of not being where I wanted to be, the disappointment in myself or my circumstances and focusing on just being present in the moment and learning to both surrender and honour myself for where I am a little more works wonders.
And it was life changing.
Thing is it was business changing too.
We place so much pressure on ourselves as business women, as mothers, wives, girlfriends, partners, coaches, artists, entrepreneurs – to live up to this ideal that we have in our minds that was more than likely formed through our socialisation and in part our comparative nature rather than it being of our own choosing.
Social conformity and media have a lot to answer for when it comes to our mental health, sovereignty and the way we live.
But on releasing that pressure everything changes: your ability to be present, to enjoy this moment, to be proud of how far you’ve come already, to get to know yourself and what you’re capable of if you just quit the push me pull you and listen.
It also means you get to release feeling crappy about sabotaging what it is you really want.
Of course we still have ambitions, desires, but is it necessary to push ourselves through hustle to burn out, sabotage and a feeling of being a bit useless?
Absolutely not – there is a way of being, living and working that nourishes who you are on a daily basis topping up your energy levels, your life force energy and building your business and enjoyment of it too.
Yet that’s not what we’re taught.
There’s a gap right now between where we’ve been with the old model of working and where we are with the way we are able to work today. Technology has advanced that for us infinitely but somehow our understanding of what is possible has not caught up quite as much (hey social institutions it’s time to change your story!).
REMEMBER THIS IF YOU WANT TO STOP SABOTAGING YOURSELF AND YOUR GOALS
So at this time of year for goal setting traditions, for setting your intentions, for stepping forward and claiming your power and desires I ask you to just remember this:
It’s ok to release the pressure
It’s ok to want more
It’s ok not to get there on a particular time frame
It’s ok to forgive yourself
It’s ok to give yourself grace
It’s ok to realise there is a tomorrow and things can get done then too
It’s ok to feel tired
It’s ok to take rest
It’s ok to set your own pace
And it’s ok to do whatever the heck feels best to you in this moment (and that one too).
You are the leader of your own life, of your reality, your energy, your destiny and you get to choose where you place the pressure to get there or the pace you travel at too.
December for me could have been all about getting my webshop live, about growing my following and launching in time for the consumerist season. Instead I prioritised decorating my little girls bedroom, making sure my house felt welcoming, warm, making it a home, a nest, a cradle for my family, a place that ignites all of the pleasurable feelings you want when you walk in the door especially around the holiday season. I craved warmth, I craved nourishment, I craved being somewhere other than in my business.
I placed my emotional well being and pleasure above the ambition I held for my business AND made more money in my business than I have for some time (hustle does not create the right kind of energy for manifestation re-read that gorgeous quote above from one of my mentors).
But the real pay off was my peace of mind, my levels of pleasure, my enjoyment of my family and seeing my little girls face ignite the whole room day after day.
And the peace of mind that I was no longer placing so much pressure on myself that a part of me wanted to run into fear and sabotage immediately.
And that is the energy we require for co creating with the quantum realm, for manifestation, for creating our desires, for seeing results in our businesses, for changing our lives.
Hustle and pressure creates resistance, resistance creates sabotage and triggers warning signals in our biology that a situation is going to be stressful so – as humans do – we work hard to get out of it and back to something more pleasurable immediately even if that does mean via self sabotage.
It’s the first week of January as I write this and that break has not only given me the recharge that I needed physically and emotionally but it’s helped me refocus on what’s important to me, design my own goals, marketing strategy, time table and it’s helped me readjust the amount of pressure I’m prepared to place on myself and in my life to get an end result.
Mamas, business mamas, furry friend mamas – we all deserve to live and enjoy our lives TODAY.
We all deserve to live and enjoy our businesses TODAY.
Yet we all place the pressure on ourselves through our goals, through our habits, through our expectations and judgements of ourselves continually.
So what if your New Years resolution is to feel better – can you let that be enough?
What if your New Years resolution is to be present? – can you let that be enough?
What if your New Years resolution is to enjoy yourself, your family, your business MORE – can you let that be enough?
Release the pressure from yourself, surrender into it and you’ll find the reward on the other side isn’t only financial, isn’t only energetic, it isn’t only satisfying but it’s a richness of life, self love and an abundance in every other area too.
Maybe it’s time for you to nurture your intuitive nature – what ever you choose to focus your attention and intentions on right now, let it be for your pleasure, for your growth and for your peace of mind as well.
Hungry for more? Check out my post on why self care is core to your well being and business success here or check out this post on increasing productivity whilst also simplifying your life (isn’t that the ideal?). Enjoy!