Do you ever feel as though you have so much to say but no way of saying it or knowing where to start?
This is something I experience often.
Especially right now.
I’ve been doing a little experiment for the past two months, I stopped writing and expressing myself as openly as I was used to to find out what would happen.
You see I’ve never been the most expressive person at the party, in fact I’ve always been the person you’d more than likely found melting into the wallpaper but even as an introvert and an observer I hold my own quiet ways of expressing myself.
Writing is one of them. It helps me get to know myself, my needs, to connect and communicate with others but most of all, to clear my mind, my energy and feel as though I’m clearing the way for new things, new energy and ideas to come through.
So the past few months have felt weird.
And not expressing myself in this way has been both good and bad.
Good because I’ve been able to turn my hand back to creating in other areas of my life – sinking my fingers into damp soil, turning my garden into a small meditative space of growth and helping mother nature with her magic, getting my hands smattered in paint (something I’ve not done in so long with such gusto – business and motherhood kind of takes over) and making photographic memories of my girl.
Bad because in a way I’ve begun to feel more disconnected, from my direction, from my desire to share, to help others who may be in a similar situation I have experienced and disconnected from my well-being – that sense of knowing that I’m doing ok, heading where I want and can let my head hit my pillow each night knowing I’ve moved towards that even in the smallest of ways.
Purpose is such a huge thing for us, we need to know we have a direction and more often than not – especially as entrepreneurs and business owners – a huge element of that is in serving others.
But it’s so dang easy to get disconnected from that isn’t it?
The everyday hustle, the day to day grind, the minutia that we get caught up in that doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
I’ve caught myself often worrying and wondering about my Instagram feed, about what to say or post, wanting growth, wanting those numbers to rise when I know it doesn’t really matter.
It’s not my first point of call for my marketing efforts, it’s not the be all and end all of my business, I honestly don’t even care whether my photo’s and captions are liked by the masses – only those closest to me get that concern BUT the platform can often convince us that our truth is the opposite can’t it?
Which is detrimental to our self expression, to our sense of wellness and that feeling of belonging, direction, of purpose and achievement.
I wondered what could happen if I stopped creating posts for a while, writing blogs and keeping a journal and my biggest realisation from it is that we need to feel expressed, have a purpose, let our creativity move through us with a flow and if that flow becomes blocked, if we attempt to stem it – our creativity will find any crack that it can to come out into light once more, to be expressed and embodied.
Baking, making dinner, gardening, writing, drawing, painting, making music, making love, making moments, memories, making life matter in the moment we are in.
Our creativity draws us back to belonging, to self, to presence.
And it’s something we need to allow to flow through us for our own well-being.
Where is your creativity being restricted right now? where do you want it to go? what is it that would make you really happy to spend time placing your hands or energy into?
If you’re unsure, you can grab my free resource to help you cultivate your well-being right here.