The Perfectionism Dis-ease

Perfectionism is a dis ease.

Yet we fall into the trap of it don’t we?

We’re hard wired to want to be liked, loved, approved of, to want to share our stories, our human experience, our talents, gifts and revelations. Of course we are – we’re human beings – we need connection.

And being that way inclined can be inspiring, it can give us energy to look outside of ourselves to want to create, to do better, to challenge ourselves and stretch our boundaries.

But there is another side to it.

The side that places pressures so high it causes anxiety.

The pressure that causes us to not only evaluate but to become self critical of ourselves to the degree we not only loose love but we loose connection and confidence.

Then we give away our power.

We give away our power to social media – to judging ourselves against other peoples perfectionism, against other peoples lives, photographs, snapshots.

We give away our power to technology – to the notifications that cause further anxiety, that create more noise in our minds than we can actually cope with on a physiological basis and send us into fight or flight mode that induces constant stress on our bodies.

And again distance ourselves from our self because that stress response can be viewed as a failing, a weakness, a fault – by our selves.

Then we tell ourselves we don’t matter and make choices that don’t fill our hearts that don’t light us up that don’t give us joy because we don’t feel worthy of receiving.

And the cycle continues.

In the time I’ve run my own businesses I’ve worked with 4,000 creative business owners and every single one of them were talented in their own right, individually, uniquely expressing their stories, their experiences, their truth and gifts through their work.

Yet I can confidently say that at least two thirds of those people have been stuck in comparison, experienced anxiety, the feeling of inadequacy, disconnection from their higher self, from their hearts, from their soul.

And it can be crushing – both spiritually and to a business.

Business wise the spiral from fear or self doubt turns into procrastination, inauthenticity, copy catting, overworking, pressure, frozen action, loss of momentum, clarity, direction and lack of results.

Personally – spiritually – it can be worse. Disconnection from your self can create an experience of feeling lost, disempowered, confused, un-energised and stuck.

And yes we can move forward on auto pilot but ultimately any of those things block us from ending up where it is that we really want to be, they stop us getting the results that we want, living the lifestyle that we desire – or experiencing true joy.

So what can we do about it when we’re surrounded by noise, by imagery and by things that can trigger us to feel less than enough?

Start with these:

  • Turn off notifications on your phone – give yourself the gift of peace of mind and the ability to move ahead unhindered by what everyone on your friends list is doing – you have the power to put your self first.
  • Journal – get in touch with your self, with your subconscious – with your dreams, wants and desires so you can rediscover your focus, what it is that you love and enjoy because those things are always connected to our purpose and clarity leads to confidence.
  • Become your own loving interruption – allow yourself a set time on social media – give yourself boundaries around who you follow and if someone makes you feel bad yet you become addicted to checking their feed – unfollow them.

These things may sound so simple yet in practice we do resist doing it – why? Because we do become addicted – we do get used to feeling that pang of emotion and chemically we crave feeling that all over again but in doing so we’re only teaching ourselves that that is our norm – we’re reinforcing feeling less than, feeling comparison, feeling anxiety, feeling disempowered and every time we do it were training our bodies and brains that this is our reality.

It doesn’t need to be.

Reclaim your power. You’re a seriously talented individual and you have all that you need to succeed within you. Stop that monkey mind playing tricks on you! Slow down and trust your self to deliver.

All love.

Kiki x